Wednesday, February 25, 2009

wish the world would be better place

give me a 5 minutes break to break down

well i guess i screwed up my new motto..
woke up this morning with the heavy feeling in me
so i took it out on him
i am so sorry,B..
anyhow i am so fed up with studying i wanna go out for once
instead of locking myself up in the room and study or on9..
God,even movies which weren't and aren't out yet
all also i watch
cheap productions movie pun i dah sapu..
what's left?


well am a lil down
don't feel like going for class anymore
so that i don't have to be so fake and pretentious
God,what's wrong with me..

Monday, February 23, 2009

peek

hey there people thanks so much for the comments..life's pretty much the same except for a new shocking fact that i discovered due to my busy bodiness..well as usual i have been skipping class...not sure if it is the weather..have not been so pink in health..guess it's the rain that makes me really like this..it's weird but i been missing home so much lately..especially kat,mummy and daddy.i remember baack last 2 years(God i am getting old) where daddy would drive me crazy everynight asking me how was my studies.

dad and mum,if you are reading this i miss you guys!kat.Double miss ya!

well move on,i wanna be positive..still keeping to that motto of mine.well i think it did us good..me and min only fight 3 times last week.well i know we might have a very tight relationship but really we fight alot but somehow at the end we both will find a way out.

i wanna be able to cry,scream and scold in front of people..let em see the real me..

fliping through the pages of my life
i learnt what's best for me now
i finally see through the other side
i now know who are the ones i love
i now see the truth
i tasted your pain
i ain't giving in to this conspiracy of yours


someone please help me
i want to be someone stronger
i want to be sure around this uncertainty
draw me closer
i wanna be able to feel u..
i want you to see me through
carry on
love me
hold me


with love,
karlisyle lum



p.s:i forgot how sweet it is to be love...

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

lalalala

i wanna be happy.nothing is going to come my way..even you..you..you..i am going to be happy..screw you guys..i wanna be able to see the sunshine everyday not darkness and negativity..i wanna make a change..


i wanna be the author to my own life
i wanna believe in happy endings
i wanna learn to handle my stress
i wanna be independent..
i want to be who i want to be.
i don't wanna care what people say anymore.

i love him
so what you guys wanna do about it?
if you think that i am not good enough i don't care.
it's what he thinks that matters

my teacher thinks i am monotonous cause i don't show much facial expression..that's not me..i am not able to show people anymore who i am..if i don't even know myself how should others know me?

resolution:
1.i must learn to love myself and be more positive!

with love,
karlisyle lum

the past events..good times

hey people.i am feeling much better today.when over to min's yesterday..had lots akward moments with the sis and grandma.i guess time will heal..so in the mean time there's nothing much i can say about..as i promised,pictures on Vday,Yuens and his bday.


First up,Valentine's day.
the flower was a gift from him.somehow it's like a tradition he gives me 3roses a year except last year as he was in NS.well,i like the roses and the thought and effort he put into buying it but God i hate the colour combination done by the shop..it is too much colour..well i guess they say little is alot sometimes.anyhow,thanks B i had the best day of my life this Valentine.oh ya thanks for the hagendaz chocolate cookie ice cream too..and of course the very pretty wondermilk cupcakes.

the dinner on valentine was rather a unique one.it ws his idea.i ain't taking credit for it.he had a small bbq session at his sis backyard.it was rather quiet cause it was only the 4 of us including the sis and hubby but somehow i guess it beats those pack restaurant.u know how much i hate crowded places.thanks b!love you..








PRE VALENTINE'S.Pn Nyon joined us for dinner with her super cool and MU fanatic friend in YUENS.she asked us whether she was disturbing us as it was pre valentine and guess what my big mouth had to say?it was ok because everyday is valentine for us..haha..of course her friend said she would asked me the same question in 10 years and the answer would be diff.hehe

those of you that weren't aware..jia li ,wan theng and TIM came down to kl for two nights to lepak2..hope you guys enjoyed your stay here.







well 7 february is his Birthday as some you know..as well as katricia and siu fan's bday..this year siu fan celebrated with chic pox*kesian:P* while kat had a bday bash with friends on feb 14..guess she had a blast cause ker said she super enjoyed it..i am glad you had fun kat!

pictures before we left for dinner at the apartment in the curve:
btw,we celebrated earlier cause on saturday his whole family came down from kuantan to celebrate with him therefore we wanted a romantic celebration before they came
after he blew the candles,candid by hui sen and ker.thanks.




two birthday cakes cause another of the eldest sis friend bday too.


the apartment interior.give you a very homely feeling.including the part of getting your ass bit by mosquito..guess they really wanted to give u the real malaysia homelife style.






the food and me.courtesy of min.







our drinks.min's drink was nice.mine suck.



that's all..haha..guess i still haven't got the hang of picture caption blogging.anyhow just enjoy yourself with the pictures.pictures say a thousand words.
toodles
with love,
karlisyle lum.
p.s:Lord,please help me deal and carry on with all this drama and misunderstandings.let the truth prevail.thanks.Amen.





Monday, February 16, 2009

tagged by mrs alex(genise)&terence

Start with something random, then start the next line with the last one from the first line.



sometimes i wish that life would treat me better

better as in more hapiness and smiles

smiles curved on his lips

lips that i wanna kiss and caress so bad

bad is what i will never have the courage to be

be the one he loves forever

forever is made impossible by them

them who brought sorrows into my life

life is define by the way you look at it

it may bring contrary perspectives from each individual

individual means each and every one

one life one goal one mission

mission is to make the world a better place

place me in your alter of joy

joy is something i thirst for now

now or never

never betray one's trust and love

love is so beautiful and yet evil.

stupidity


hey i was so hyped about blogging about our steamboat night and of course valentine's DAY..seriously had a blast with wan theng,jia li and tim..even more was valentine..it's a wonder how you manage to make me smile so hard and long the whole day,b..i love you..always will always have..

am going to be bit emo..ohya first off i decided to split my exams so i extended it till oct/nov this year and will only be joining the jan/feb intake next year for the degree..

secondly i never cried so hard till yesterday..until now i can feel my heart torn..i was hurt really bad..don't really want to say names..yesterday make me realise despite all the times my family made me cry,i am thankful i have them cause at the end of the day they would still be there for me..

B,i really love you but the pain i am enduring for loving you is too great..i really wish someday time will tell me why are they doing this and tearing me apart..breaking my spirit and strength to be with you..loving you is the greteset prize God has given me but the package you carry doesn't seem to allow me to carry on..i dont know how long more i can endure this pain..but if ever time split us or draw us apart or someday when i really can't take any more shit from them.i want you to know i will and have never stop loving and caring for you..

thanks for making me smile so hard..i was happiest in my life last 2days..14 feb 2009..i'll carry the memories with me forever..


p.s:better go before tears start pouring out...
p.s2:the pics below are 2008 pics.
p.s3:valentine andd steamboat pics this wednesday!

i love the way you bit your lower lip when you are deciding..

pictures from some new mall:lanterns of cartoon icons..
the mall sucks but there;s a very pretty cafe called FULLHOUSE there





with love,
karlisyle lum

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

lovegame

not in the mood..seriouly i am drowning in my own pool of stress..i hate myself for being like that..i am negative..i left valentine plans with minxx but i am super worried that this year valentine will be scerwed..i am not sure whether it's the pre exam stress or mesntrual symptoms..i guess it's both..

i am suppose to be studying cause i'll be having my Mock aka trials in two weeks but i am so stress that i want to go out..no really i wanna cry..aargh..

i just made min piss for no reason..i was whinning that i am tired..whinning about his valentine plans..i hate myself..why am i like that?

seriously this is not an emo post..i am spitting all of this out in anger..i don't know why exam stresses make me angry and doubly bad tempered..that is why i never had much people that like me..it's some kind os aura of the exam that makes me an ugly person..

i find myself turning into the same old me that i left in 2007..it's coming back..

Terence:i'll reply the tag when i am in a better mood cause definitely i'll describe myself in negtivity only..

p.s:i can hope that i'll get better..exams!aargh

with love,
karlisyle lum

Sunday, February 8, 2009

feel me

hey there people,
i guess that now i know why beth's blog is so popular..most probally cause she's hot..no no..hehe..cause she's always so positive in her blog and she doesn't fret much in her blog as compared to the rest of us 1990 children..well i wish someday i can be like her..not releasin all her anger and sadness on the keyboard..

today's or should i say yday since it's past 12..was of course his birthday..well did nothing special as we celebrated on the 4th already..so to round it off i had a pretty much normal day until at night..*thanks ker and kor sen for coming* if not i would have bore to death..

well i ain't gonna whine much..felt pretty lonely and still feels a lil alone now..he's gambling with fam downstairs while i am up here..well i guess it's his birthday so it's up to him who he wanna spends it with..

someone told me that everytime we fight ure won't break up one..i guess people are pretty fed up with me..well these days i pretty much have no one to talk ot turn to when i am having lots in my mind..that's why i am so pathethic i talk to a laptop about how i feel..

these days things aren't the same anymore
he used to be the one..
i am not certain of that fact anymore
we started off too young
i wish i could skip time
i wish i had the guts to mean what i say..

with love,
karlisyle lum

Thursday, February 5, 2009

she says

my twin sis says that we have astrayed from one another after coming to kl but i say the opposite.the amount of calls and sms we have are more than what we usually do back in kuantan plus we fight more in kuantan.

anyhow this post is gonna be a short one.everyone's leaving to overseas to further their education..when they ask me,i truthfully wish i have a place to tell em too but sadly no i don't cause one of us might be leaving for US while the other one Australia/new zealand.so it;s just down to me.dad wants me to get scholarship or loan which is unfair to put so much burden on me.i know it was my own choice choosing one of the toughest course.the truth is i really wish god will let daddy hit jackpot someday so dad i don't have to always worry about getting a scholarship.i guess it's all in God's plan.

p.s:had dinner with minxx at the apartment as an early bday dinner.will upload pics soon!
p.s2:someone drop the bomb at me that law exams tomorrow!aargh..what a life!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

irritated

hey people,
i must say my last post created a scene and God this blog is starting to feel like a baggage to me.i can no longer express anything here cause it'll leak out.Effing iritating i must say.

anyhow i'll won't be updating frequently as i said it a thousand times due to exams and his upcoming birthday and VALENTINE'S day.have lots of preparation to do yet so lil time..

anyhow friends out there continue rocking your life and have fun and thanks for the good 2009 CNY!had a blast catching up with loads of you!hugs!

with love,
the girl you love to hate,
karlisyle lum

p.s:i'll try to update on his bday dinner and VALENTINE!