Wednesday, January 21, 2009

token of appreciation

someone told me i have to earn to appreciate.yes i have a roblem with appreciating things.i just dump my phone after buying it a month and whine about getting a new phone everytime.i whine that i want to be able to choose and change lives with people.But am i the one being selfish?

i know that sometimes my lives or better yet most of the time i have downs in my life but somehow i'll always survive through.okay maybe what he said is true.he said i speak out of jealousy.even min seems to think it's true.

so here goes.if Mom or jie is reading this,yes i have grow up living in jealousy that why you always treat her being a teacher i thought that you will always love the smartest or the most sucessful academically but you still choose to love the laziset.i know she is the smartest but i can be equally smart like her if u want me to.i spend all my life trying to impress you and get the slightest attention so i screwed up my life during f4.i hated studying and all i did was enjoyed my life.i gave so much effing effort during f2 and 3 that iw as almost the top in the first class but yet i saw no appreciation.

again i admit i am JEALOUS and i'll always be so as long as i don't see a reason why she should be treated better off than any of least i have the guts to say it out loud.i love you and never had stop because somehow i am bonded to you.we are two of a kind that is as long as this goes on i am going to distant myself like now because i can't live my life in turns me to became an ugly person.sorry if i hurt your feelings but this is how i feel!

p.s:this post is not emo..a lil piss off byt seriuosly i'm fine.
p.s2:me and min are really ok d..infacxt will be going sg wang and klcc in abit
ps3:thanks for those people that cared!

with love,

Sunday, January 18, 2009

tagged by my GENISE!

Instructions :
*Strike out the NO's or Underline/Colour/Bold the YES's
* Tag 6 people after you've done!

1. Coffee / Tea

2. Noodle / Rice

3. Ocean /Lake

4. Phone / Computer

5. Smsing / Calling

6. Durians / Fried Worms

7. Coke / Sprite

8. Cold weather / Hot Weather

9. PanCakes / Waffles

10. Sand / Grass

11. Vanilla / Chocolate

12. Coughing / Sneezing

13. Paper / Plastic

14. W hite Gold / Silver

15. Watermelon / Strawberry

16. Slippers / Shoe

17. Early Bird / Night Owl

18. Books / Magazine

19. Tall / Short

20. Heaven Above / Paradise on Earth

Person I Tag are:
-ju vin
-hui fern

good times gone

life hasn't been good to me..i guess all those hype about 2009 being better was all just an illusion.somehow i did manage to talk things out with my B but yet things aren't still looking at the bright side.i feel so utterly useless because i don't know what to do.i love him but yet somehow i think he deserves someone much better than me.sometimes i don't get him and vice versa that makes us fight.i want to be with him.we were suppose to be meant to be.i used to think he's the one i'll have forever with but now it all seems do vague.

all our memories flahing through my mind.i am happy with him but at times the pain is too much to bear.i rather see him smile everyday than tears when he is with me.maybe i ought to be a il least selfish and let him go.will i ever get that sense of courage to do such a noble thing?No, cause i love him so much that it hurts.i long for him all the time.he is never out of my mind.i wanna be around him all the time.i love that sense of security he provides me.i love how he kisses my forehead.i love everthing that we share but somehow those bad times we have are getting out of hand and ugly.i hate to see the tears i brought in your eyes.i don't deserve deserve someone better.

p.s i love you but isi it time's up?

with love,
emoness in the air,
karlisyle lum

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

broken strings-james morrison

hey,short update least i tried to warn.just read carol's blog.i get how she feels..F***ERS leave her alone.have a life and stop picking on hers.okay back to my part of the story or you would prefer to call ranting.yes i want my God Damn Long hair back although i look good in short*winks*but thou shall not fret upon the past or so they say.i am FAT.god damn it..why did i have to have all this flaws?i know i am emo but guess what?i am not the worst.anyway i am under lots pressure.i am suppose to be studying but here i ended up.went blogshopping a while and been watching a couple of dvds.ain't going to be like some kisau and say i didn't study.i did touch law but god damn it did it burnt the inside of my brains.Gah..aargh..

well i want to say that i want to get past with all this now and start something new already.yes i am me another song will ya?or play another game.i can't take or bare another second of this.take me away.or beeter yet take my breath away.something i really wish life will not suck out all the fun and fire of something.i guess it's time that kills it all.GAh..i really desperately need new things and happening.a life changing or turning event.the games in my life are getting old.

the new cute still short edgy new me*perasan i know*but a girl can only ask for more

and my..HAISH..super pretty long hair!aargh
with love,
karlisyle lum

Saturday, January 10, 2009

gone with the wind

finnally found some spare time to update..have been really caught up with the exam blues..iseriously have to start studying already because my parents nag that i son't spend enough time studying whish is so true..but i juts don't havethe semanagat to study..daddy wants to me to split my a-levels paper and extend another 6months in college..he doesn't even mind paying the fees..aargh..but the fact is i just wanna move on already with my degree..i am confident i'll pass my a-levels but not so sure about going higher than that and mum wants me to get 3a so that i can get a scholarship..but seriously at this point i really don't mind taking loan..

yesterday i had a sudden flashback where i remembered during may ,mum asked me to do ACCA in sunway but i told her i am not intelectually capable of doing that course like ju vin..but somehow i regret now cause if there's a will,there's away..if i want to do well in anything as long as i work hard i should be able to do it kan? point and time for regrets now..just going to move on with my a-levels and do my best..hopefully i'll get to university that is good and affordable..

p.s:this blog will be abndon and not so frequently updated anymore because of exams...have only about 3months to master my subjects!

p.s2:i find it rather ironic for people who wears coloured contact lens to despise people who wear fake eyelashes cause aren't coloured contact lens as fake as fake long eye lashes?maybe that's what i think..i don't mind wearing both!:p

with love.
will try to be back soon,
karlisyle lum