Friday, February 29, 2008

finally got NEO-IMAGING








some of the pictures thati have photoshop..it is not that pro and nice but carolxx said it takes practice...
but i am happy to finally have neo-imaging!

in their eyes...

it is so funny that this topic came into my mind while i was trying to doze off last night...

it is really stupid because i sure love to think alot(non productive nonesense)

it is in me....i love thinking...
alot...like alot as in i think about things that will happen,things that already happen,things that soon to happen...i think all of this in a negative way though...

ok...

here goes...

do you ever felt like you were being judge or u being the judge in your every daily life encount

for me:

life got 3kinds of perspectives that you get viewed from..

don't lie to yourself that you never once judge anyone by the way they look or carry their manners...

cause i'm pretty sure all of us so called homosapiens love to overthink...

1st perspective:from the people closest to you(the ones you spend most of your time with)

when you ask anyone that is link to this group of people about what they think of you...

1st:all of your greatest flair and quality will be their priority...

2nd:all of your embarssing stuff(like how u look like when u tido,how you drool in your sleep...etc etcc)

3rd:all of your bad habits:bitting nails,twitching your noes...hairflip...blablabla...the list goes on


what i am trying to mean is...

these people are the ones we truly love or the ones we are stuck with...

they know us inside out...from the way we look at the mirror to the way you wear your shoes...

in their eyes...the way they judge us...they act like they know it all..

we hate listening to them blab about our flaws(though they might be true sometimes)

2nd perspective:the ones that see you every now and then

like a distant relative or a family friend...

this group of people are the ones we like to talk to because they are always catching up to do...

i mean we only see these people once in a while...

in their eyes...

they think we are angels...

it is a natural human character to always give a 1st GOOD impression to outsiders...

everytime this people are around,you always look your best and of course from head to toe you will be all dolled up...

we always smile and give them our usual sweet greeting:hello uncle,hello aunty

so when someone ask them what they think of you...
this is the usual answer...

she/he very good boy/girl...
she/he very pretty/handsome...
she/he lost weight already from last time...
very polite
very sweet..
very helpful...


come on people...this people kan...we jumpa em like thrice a year only?

they don't really know us tapi everytime they jumpa us we sure never fail to pull out the good side of us only...

i'm not saying it's bad...it's good but just that when you are with his group of people...

we tend to feel tight down because we of course don't want to do anything to calar our record baik in their eys...

3rd perspective:the ones that show up the wrong time

i personally have encounter this like too frequent...(seriously too frequent that i have so much people thinking i am FRIGGIN SPOILT)

THOSE DAYS WHERE YOU ARE FEELING KINDA DOWN OR BAD MOOD?

RING A BELL?

WHEN YOU JUST WANNA BE LEFT ALONE?

tapi ada pulak orang yang masih datang visit...

you nak halau em out tak boleh cause it's rude...

so you try to fake a smile

you go through it...

then somebody kena jackpot and hit a sensitive spot of yours...

jeng jeng jengggggggggggg...

what happens?

like a volcano that have been waiting to errupt...

you burst out...

you scold them...

yell at them...

say all those stuff that you don't mean...

what is their response?

look at you like you sudah gila!

i mean we can't blame them totally...
they only see us like once a year but only they came the wrong time of the year...

hahaha...

so this people will respond like that when someone ask their opinion bout you...

she/he got problems up there...
he/she OVERSENSITIVE
HE/SHE NO manners
she/he seriously need medical help...


so in life...really...REALITY...we can never run away from people judgin us..

when someone says you are pretty,the person is judging you..

it is just a NATURAL human instinct that we like being judge in a good way...

if someone judge us and gives us bad remarks,we naturally get defensive and angry and ask her/him to f*** off...

this is how i see people judge me...

i like best being judge through the 1st perspective because they truly know me..

except my mum lar...

we live under same roof but until today we tak rapat langsung so we don't know each other inside out...

2nd persepctive?i suka jugak cause this aunties and uncles give me a boost of confidence wan...

3rd?can't say much...just don't come talk or visit me when i am not in the mood aite?

*hahaha*

in their eyes...what they see might not be true...so just trust your eyes...

you are the only one who truly know yourself...

so f*** those bastards that are always trying to put the worst out of you...






benggang betol!



just read the newest post in one of my good friends blog...

i thought i was the only wan having sleeping problems...

i go to bed EARLY just so that i can get my 8hours of sleep everyday...

but everytime i do so i'll take bot at laest 2 whole friggin hours just to doze off...

hey i guess it's just the biological clock in us that rosak?

hahax...don't know and don't care...

i am officially free from working-hood..

yey...*cheers for karlisyle*

but why am i not feeling as happy and excited as i should be?

oh because simply on monday i have to go friggin help my dad at his shop...

i hate goin there...

my nails get black and i smell like medicine herbs when i come back home...

aargh...why is GOD testing my patience like this?

someone help me...

aargh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wanna go kl this week but parents took back their words because i have to help daddy at work...
oh ma...this really sucks lar...

kl sungai wang and times square throwing out their dresses for rm15 lar...

u know my fav kinds of dress?the babydoll wanxx?

i want to go...not i want but i need...

no one can describe how annoyed i am...

but look at the bright side...minxx comin back in 11 days...

might be goin down kl with him and sisters!

yey...but again let's keep our fingers-cross that they will still be nice looking rm15 dresses left for me...=(

please please...

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

my 1ST tag by MY GOOD FRIEND:JU VIN!

5 things found in my bag:
1. my new colourful purse
2. calculator(sue me for having it but i am workin at an accounting office)
3. handkerchief(oldskool...RICHARD fav!)
4. mp3(it comes handy if i am hanging out v people who bores me)
5. pen(so that i an scribble around)


5 things found in my wallet:
1. ka-CHING...cash cash
2. i/c with my watermelon std6 face
3. those mini stickers of my buddies and i
4. small notes on what i want and need to do
5. my DRIVING LICENSE!yes i can drive...recklessly...


5 favourite things in my room:
1. MIRROR!have bout 3!)
2. a box that minxx gave me b4 he left for N.S
3. my BED(fav place to be a lazy piggy!
4. BEAR BEAR minx...pink bear that minxx gave!(beth suka curi it wan!)
5. my closet(i just love looking at the clothes in there!maklumlar i got good fashion sense!haha


5 things I've always wanted to do:
1. join any kind of reality show esp AMAZING RACE ASIA
2. join the BRATZ camp
3. bungee-jump!
4. able to scream out my thoughts to people who dress so bad!
5. the more serious wan:bring a change to a whole village esp poor ones at INDIA

5 things I'm currently into:
1. FACEBOOK!
2. thriller movies esp with my minxx(HANNIBAL ROCKS!)
3. TGI fridays chips at COLD STORAGE
4. ANY tv shows..be it american idol,CSI,THE O.C...wah lai toi is also my current companion
5. GADGETS(believe me i used to spend every single penny on clothes...*am a girly girl mar*)

List out the top 5 presents you wish for:
1. the 5mgp samsung phone but in WHITE WITH pink diamonds deco
2. Brand new laptop! dell flamingo pink(ju ur fav!) or baby pink sony wio
3. a BACK or pink camera with at least 8mgp
4. the mic key mp3 in pink
5. the pink psp(though i'm not a gamer but its so PRETTY to look at)

The person who tagged you is: see ju vin(in purple...lilac not dark..just the way u like it)
Your 5 impressions of him/her:
1. strong willpower(got 11a1's during trials just to prove a point to her parents).
2. terlalu rajin blog d!make me feel like my blog's DEAD!
3. VERY helpful friend!(help me a lot with he on9 stuff)
4. Loves taking pictures..just like me!camwhorer!
5. CAREFUL with money...she counts every penny she guna!maklumlar...future accountant MAR!


Most memorable thing he/she has given/done to you:She was willing to accompany me for almost 4 whole hours just because i was so lonely and was alone at home!thanks so much...heartxx ya!


If he/she becomes my lover, I will:yuck..this is disgusting cause i am sure we won't be lovers..hahaxx...but i will adopt a kid with her?

If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be:because we are too alike?we were most probally fighting for some dress?*hahahaa*

Pass the quiz to 5 people whom you wish to know how they feel about you:
1. annabeth
2. Caroline
3. see ju vin
4. kerina
5. jeshua?*this is random)

2 more days till i finally get to DECLARE my FREEDOM!!!!



while workin,i pathethicly wait for the clock to skip its needle at least one hour fast...


so i decided to get muself more involved in on9 world...

this was some of the konon RESOLUTIONS lah...

  1. to get new layout for my friendster account
  2. to get a facebook account
  3. to update pictures in friendster
  4. to get a blogskin
  5. to do a link list
  6. to get a c-box
  7. to blog more
  8. to get more internet friends
  9. to delete MYSPACE account
  10. to reset my MSN password

what i have so called ACCOMPLISH:

  1. DELETED myspace account(hurray)
  2. have my own FACEBOOK(YEY)
  3. HAVE A C-BOX(FEEL FREE TO SPILL YOUR COMMENTS)
  4. have a link list
  5. updated new pics at friendster
  6. blog more?(not really but progressing d)
  7. got a new layout for my friendster..not only mine but also minxx
  8. RESET my password d(thank GOD ...now u can mingle with me at msn messenger)

I COULD NOT HAVE A C-BOX AND A LINK LIST ON my BABY blog here if it weren't for my gudie friend JU VIN!i jammed up the wjole blog and she helped me with her magic!yey..thanks...owe you ju!muaxies

just wanna belong




seriously i have been wondering about this since minx minx left me...where do i really belong?can someone tell me?ever feel like your so alone in a crowded place?so many yet still alone?i'm going through one of those early mid-life crisis...i don't know what the future holds for me...like i said in my earlier post...i don't fret on my past because i can look forward to the future instead...but lately i am wishing upon the stars that i can get a glimpse on what my future will be like...but again...why bother spoiling the anxiety and fun of waiting and living life until i figure it out...this is my current life...TRUE story..if u don't believe and think that it some sort of cinderella story that i made believe of then beat it!it's E!TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY!haha..my bet...*BAD JOKE* i grew up in a family of three sisters,1daddy and 1mum...from the way i adressed my parents you should have guess i am who's girl already.i am not publishing this blog with the purpose of embarassing or sabotaging anyone's image but i am doing it for the sake to keep me sane...no one wants to hear me out in this world...growing up wasn't like a FAIRYTALE...believe me there was no SILVERSPOON feeding for the past 18 years..i was the outkast..the blacksheep...as you guess i am the middle child...growing up with three sisters sounds like HELL alot of fun but believe me again..it only seems that way...my first sister was only a YEAR older so there wasn't much difference on how we dress or even the topics we talk on..my 2nd sis is my other half...my twin...*now u know why i am so short**winkxx*she was the only one who share with me my heartfelt problems most of the time...since young she was the person closest to me...but things changes with time..to be more specific relationships..we grew up to be AMAZINGLY different...even from IDENTICAL twins to now being NON-IDENTICAL anymore...my one and only BABYSISTER is 8years younger...she is definitely the one that made me lost the baby title in the family...if it wasn't for her...i would be pampered so badly by daddy but without her...i had no one to pick on..ok enough of the introduction...let's just get to the point...ok you see..four daughters...two parents...you must think it is really easy right?two kids one parent...but at home it is not like that...i admit daddy showers me with more attention because i once had a fake suicidal attempt and thrice tried to runaway..so in his eyes he thinks that i am the most needy daughter...but no doubt...he loves me...my mom?she chooses one only...my elder sister...baby sis get pampered by both but mum loves her 2nd best also...daddy love us all equally...so as i go on..i admit reading ju vin blogs,going over to anna's make me sad,hurt and jealous(hey i'm not trying to say that it in a hate way)...they have a close realtion with their mums...i am JEALOUS..i want to be able to just LOVE her...i can't...we both can barely be ourselves in front of one another...we can't get along..just talking to each other more than 5minutes would be an OUTRAGEOUS thing and there wil definitely be two moons on the same night...so what i am trying to point out is...to any mums who is reading or future mums,soon-to-be mums,people lookin forward to be mums...no matter what don't ever ever show unfairness towards any child of yours...be it the eldsest,middle or the youngest...treat everyone fairly...no doubt one or maybe two out of the rest might have a FLAW that seems to iritate your system but remember nobody is perfect...just because one flaw of hers is an eyesore to you doesn't mean you have the tight to mental torture her for the rest of her life...believe me mum...i had enough of mental torture from you..i am soon to be 18..i am going to fight for my own rights...i am a person..i have feelings...doesn't mean that you treat me nice on certain ocassions,calling me sweet names in front of outsiders will forgive you from what you did to me...all those unfair moments..when i couldn't even stand up for myself...i have sacrificed enough..i am not holding back...ok this blog might seem a little personal but hey that's me...i just let out my feelings...i do stupid things just to get the mess out of my head and only regret later..*hahaha*to you people out there who is going through the same problem like me...i advice you to seek for help...counselling or better yet get someone who can talk to your mum or dad bout how you really feel before it is too late like me...i am half physco*that's what i think* d!going through those torture silently...KEEPING it all lock inside won't do any good!just trust me...let it out...why keep it inside until it all boils out and overflow...seek help b4 it is too late!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

i screwed my whole blog!some1 help me!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

valentine blues

it has been exactly one week since VALENTINE day...VALENTINE came about long time ago and from what i heard from my mum it did not have a SPECIAL meaning...as years of evolution...VALENTINE became one of the top celebration celebrated worldwide...hallmark has been earning million since then...what does the meaningful but yet meaningless 9 letter truly means?it varies among us human beings...like a malay proverb says,"banyak udang,banyak garam...banyak orang banyak ragam"translated it says lots of prawns,lots of salt...lots of people,lots of culture...i guess that's what it means..*hehehe*so as for me...i see it as a day i can have a reason to let go of my daily routine and do different things with my hubbby...instead of just hanging out,go for candle light dinner,go picnic...i mean just let go and do whatever your heart desires...that's all...gifts are utterly as important but it is really not that necessary..i mean flowers,chocolates are superb and sweet but if that is what you are getting me every year then you can keep it to yourself...














14 FEB 2008-it sucked for most of us truthfully...i celebrated a LONELY valentine...did not receive no suprises nor did anything different...it was just like any other ordinary day...but i did not only share this to myself...others like my b,ju vin,azfar,kerina,khay loon and lots more(i'm just guessing the a lot more)*hehe* all celebrated a lonely wan this year as all of us were apart from our sayang.even a famous figure celebrated alone just because her boyfriend was out drinking with his friends...XIA XUE also went through it!



so there's no arguments on the fact that VALENTINE is just non other than a DATE...a DATE...in MALAY words,TARIKH...everyday should be VALENTINE if we truly care for our loved ones...i for one am totally not against VALENTINE...(though i might sound like i'm against it but hey i'm grieving now!can't blame me!)*bluek*i just think that if any of us miss this year VALENTINE...it's ok...it is not that a big deal unless your anniversary falls on the same day or it was your 1st valentine[that was me =( ]...


don't fret anymore about what happen in the past but be excited for what the future might hold for us...maybe today or tomorrow or tomorrow tomorrow will be a SUPRISE so let's just forget 14.02.08!

HAPPY belated VALENTINE,people especially to my hubby who is in N.S now!i love you so much b!love all of you who call themselves friends of KARLISYLE too!
the card that i made him and POSTED to his N.S camp...i'm glad
he LOVE it and he was so SUPRISED and TOUCHED!yey..
mission ACCOMPLISHED!

Monday, February 11, 2008

a L.O.V.E note

i'm not cut out for the LDR crap...LDR stands for long distance relationship...i'm really not cut out for it..i really don't know how any of you manage to do it...i admire you guys...on dec29 minxx left me to n.s...on jan 6 i went to visit him...and on jan 19 i went for the national service open day...F.Y.I...the whole family Knows about me n him...my family pun...both sides approve our relationship d but the only problem is they don't understand why both of us like being together 24/7...i admit it when minxx left for N.S i cried so bad that i thought my eye balls was practically gona pop out...i love him...i'm not obssesed...i know how it feels being obssesed..like what my best friend annabeth said i cried so bad because b4 he left for N.S,we were practically together 24/7...minxx love me alot and i'm confident that he loves me more than i can imagine...most of the people at the PLKN kem chamang bentong knows that he has a gf...when i went for the OPEN day,he mc-ed and told every1 there he sudah berpunya...every1 was lookin at me and was asking him ur gf ark?i'm well known there even if i have only step foot twice there...hell i'm FAMOUS there...famous for making kong call me 4 times a DAY,making him cry...making him emo,making him spend rm500 on phone cards and for crying and yelling at him on the phone...i admit i treat minxx like dirt 60% OF the time i am with him...i ask for break ups when i'm bored...i don't appreciate him...life sucks even more when i am PMS-in...the rest of the 40%?i just be the best girl friend i can to him...it's like i have 2 personalities that switches on n off by itself..minxx learn to understand this fact and he learns to deal with it...after 9moths together,on feb 8 he told me he thinks n knows i am the ONE for him...as for me?i am still hoping that he is the one...i am not sure yet but part of me told me he is the one...i'm really sorry b for the times i treat u like dirt and i don't notice it...our 1st valentine 2geda we will be missin it but i know somehow there's a CONNECTION in us that knows everyday is VALENTINE..every hour,minutes and second u used to love me is the greatest gift i can get from u b!thanks so much for understanding and being patience with me..i LOVE you kong sze min!